the good kind of exhausted

we just had the best two days of the entire mobile trip.
we had the priviledge to work with an amazing ministry in the ghettos of L.A. It was so much fun just hanging out with all the kids. we were told that the area we were in was a huge gang area, and that shootings are not an uncommon thing. The gangs wage war on one another, all hispanic, and if you make a wrong move on marked street, you might as well be dead.
understanding this, then spending two days with some of the most incredibly sweet/loving/smart kids, it broke my heart. these kids have been brought up to believe you need a gang to survive. that revenge and retaliation give you the respect you've been told you deserve. their role models are either in jail, selling drugs, or prostituting themselves on the street. this is normal life for them. and i want to take them all home. every. single. one.
But i cant save them. i can hang out with them, encourage them, tell them they are beautiful and loved. i can tell them they are good at things. all sorts of things, like soccer, art, music and homework. I can show them they have value. real value. but ultimately, the decision is theirs.
when we left today, they surrounded us, and prayed for us, and didn't want us to leave. these are the kids who they said never pray out loud. they gave us an offering, and i felt ashamed, only because i would rather have given all my money to them, or to a cause that would ensure their bright futures. normally i hate being called candy. i usually loathe it. but today, it was the most beautiful name i've ever answered to. that and "dulces".
I've never been so blessed in my life, i dont think. the people at the mission, the kids, my team, were all so incredible. i couldn't have asked for better friendships than these. i couldnt have asked for a more effective two days. i am exhausted. but the good kind. the kind where i know something real happened. that a difference was made, and that difference was the love of
Christ being present in us. not only present, but contageous.
We got back to riverside (where we normally reside) at around 11:15 pm. we have to wake up at 4:30 to begin our travels to santa margarita where we will be setting up our booth and doing a fair bit of mobilizing at a cinco de mayo fest. it really is a good kind of exhaustion.